Stuckness March 4, 2018

Judge Soggy Sweat’s Whiskey Speech

An old dusty template to advance all public policy development and understanding.

It was first said in 1952 by a twenty-something lawmaker in Mississippi, a Millennial of his day without a Twitter, before texting was invented.

Soggy knew then what we have forgotten now. One-sided arguments achieve nothing except polarization and duginness. However, if you and I can demonstrate that we know the case for and against something, then we are more likely to be able to achieve a compromise than if I only know my position and you only know your position. It is not enough to say, “I respect your option,” rather, if I can articulate your position as well as I can mine, then I have earned your respect. Then—and only then—can progress be made on all controversial issues: gun control, the death penalty, sexual harassment, abortion, same-sex marriage, climate change, school vouchers, civil rights, human rights, health care, weed, hillbilly heroin, bourbon and other matters that keep us parted.

Here’s the template: Judge Soggy Sweat’s Whiskey Speech.

“If you mean whiskey, the devil’s brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean that evil drink that topples Christian men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pits of degradation, shame, despair, helplessness, and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with every fiber of my being.

However, if by whiskey you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the elixir of life, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning; if you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget life’s great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow; if you mean that drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars each year, that provides tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universities, and community colleges in this nation, then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally in favor of it.
This is my position, and as always, I refuse to be compromised on matters of principle.

Found it: eventually a good idea makes it on a t-shirt. Now you can have a soggy Soggy tee. Here.


Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Our Greek Chorus
Opinions of The Vigilant
The Greek chorus was an integral part of ancient Greek theatre, a group of three or four performers who looked alike and spoke all at the same time. Their part was to comment on what was being said and help the audience know what the characters in the play were thinking. The chorus usually sang, or spoke. We honor that tradition here
To booze or not to booze. This is a classic example of doublespeak in politics. Are they terrorists or freedom fighters? Job creators or welfare enablers? Constitutionalists or revisionists? Liberals or conservatives?
Updated Posts

What’s the Stink About?

by Josh Hammond

Zuckerberg Puts on Angel Face

by Josh Hammond

He’s a trickster, a conman, out to fool you and win at all costs, sparing no deception.

by Josh Hammond
Our Newsletter
The easiest way for you to stay on top of what’s happening at Free American News is subscribe to our weekly update. Out every Friday morning, bright and early, it lists the latest post and has some exclusive extras. Please use the pop-up subscription form or click on the subscribe to newsletter box on the lower right-hand column.
Go to the Newsletter Subscription page